PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MOTHMAN DELIVERS A HEARTFELT AND, AT TIMES, EMOTIONAL CONCESSION SPEECH:
“SUCK A FUCKING DICK. SHIT’S A SCAM. CONSPIRACY ON THE HIGHEST LEVELS. HALLS OF POWER AND ALL THAT SHIT. RACE PLAYED A PART IN THIS. MOTHS ARE UNDERREPRESENTED. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT SHIT? YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR, PEONS. ENJOY 2% GROWTH. WE’LL ALL BE WORKING IN CHINESE BAMBOO MINES BY 2016.”
This is better than any nonsense the rest of you will post today.
Even in our age of computing machines and space-phones, it can be difficult to count yourself among the fully informed. Do you know what these smooth-talkin’ politricksters are really about? Do you share their values? Or have you been caught in their silken web of deceit?
Lean on us, bro. We got this.
THE SELF DEFENSE FAMILY GUIDE TO THE 2012 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES
GREEN PARTY LADY NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT:
Pro-rights. Pro-shit that makes sense. Anti-hick bullshit. Anti-throwing acid on your daughter as a means of honor killing because she looked at a boy. Pro-being cool as a motherfucker. Anti-middle of America or the weirdly prideful brand of ignorance it champions.
In honor of my less fortunate friends, who have never known how it feels to own a glorious beard.
Kind of forgot about tumblr there for a while. Doesn’t seem like I missed much.